This moment

This moment, I’m not feeling my best. There are days like that and I tell myself that it‘s okay. Even though deep inside I feel it’s not. I feel like screaming and destroying everything in my path. I feel like turning away from all responsibilities, and yet here I stand. Here I rise to greet another day. Here I meet others with grace and kindness, and the person who I need to give that to the most at this moment is the one who’s reflection I see in the mirror.

I’ve been searching for someone who will be that partner, my knight who will rescue me from myself. However, the only who can rescue me is me. There is no one calling or checking up on me. I’m on nobody’s mind unless they need something. And yet, I am there, I am here, and I stand strong in a time where I just want to melt away. Right now, this time is heavy. It’s heavy because it was just Mother’s Day, and as a single mom of three, I was reminded even more so of the struggles and the frustrations I have endured and fought with a smile when all I wanted to do was cry, runaway, and give up. At this moment, I am weighed down, exhausted, and feel I’m fighting an endless war. And yet, at this moment I will rise because I have three litttle ones who depends on me to be there to provide for them, to love them, and to keep them safe.

And, I will rise because I have dreams, goals and vision of where I see myself, and even though right now it appears hard, and I am tired. At this moment I will rise for me…