Late quiet nights are made for being in your own head to think of all the bullshit that you wouldn't think about during the times when you are occupied or entertained, which is why TV was designed, right? It is one of those nights, where everything that is a lie or that doesn't matter is running through my mind. Have you been there before? You can't shut off your brain? And yet, you know the simplest of answer, which is to go to sleep. Seriously though, the answer is simply: let go.
Let go? Yes, let go. The past doesn't matter because that will not change. And the future is always the future. All that matters is right now - the presence. That is all that is. Yes, this is what I'm thinking about. I know, it sounds cliché.
So today was a challenging day, we all have them. In my case, out of all the responsibilities that I have, my biggest worry were my relationships with others. Specifically, one had to do with my past, and the other my present. And neither one was the true issue that I had to focus on. Can you guess what the true issue that I had to focus on was?
It was me. It was my truth. It was about me and what I wanted. It took me some time to contemplate and figure out my true issue. My issues weren't how they were treating me, my issue was: how I was treating myself. Am I treating myself the way I wanted to be treated? Am I honoring my truth? And honestly I wasn't. I wasn't facing the fact that I was having a rough day that I couldn't see not even the little blessings in it; and instead of focusing on what I can control which was myself, and honoring my truth that it was a shitty day I tried to blame it on someone or something. I focused on the people who I couldn't control and had these made up scenarios of what the situation might have been even though there were no situation at all or the scenario has happened and there is no changing it. Anyways, I let these scenarios get the best of me to the point where it made me want to hurt them like how I was hurting. And through that hurt, past traumas came to surface, and it took me a while to realize that I was falling into some old habits and limiting beliefs. How often do I fall a victim to these? More than I would like to admit.
The moment that I was finally able to realize what I was doing, was when I was finally able to make a decision that I didn't want to feel like that anymore. I didn't want to hold on to something that I can't change or something that wasn't true. Because the truth was, I had to let go of what someone else thinks of me or treats me. We all have our own issues. And often time there isn't anyone to come rescue use from our own issues. It's ours to master and overcome. And to overcome it may just take a simple task of letting go. Letting go of the control of someone else, and facing the truth of the actual situation and accepting it. And lastly, telling yourself I choose to honor my shitty feeling, but I'm going to let go and be better, do better, and choose the state of mind that I want to be in. Which tonight, the state of mind I choose is love. I am love, and so are you.
Comentarios